Cruella de Vil Almost Wins
by VampireApple
Summary: In Which Cruella Uses the Grinch to Take Over the World, but is Stopped by Sarah Palin


AN: I had a really weird dream a few weeks ago, so I decided to turn it into a story. I changed a few things, and added a lot to make it better. My dream is at the bottom.

Disclaimer: I don't own 101 Dalmatians, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Dragon Ball Z, Mary Poppins, or Doctor Who, nor do I own or have ever met Sarah Palin

**)()()(**

A long time ago in London there lived a woman who wanted a fur coat made of puppies. Dalmatian puppies. She gathered one hundred and one of the little beasts, only to have her minions lose them. She lost much more than puppies that day. She lost her social standing, her wealth, and her beautiful car. This woman vowed to get revenge. She would start by taking over the world.

**A Scenic View Rest Stop, Rocky Mountains, Utah**

Cruella de Vil sat in her car, tapping her finger on the steering wheel. She had learned patience, and no longer exploded at the slighted provocation. No, she had much bigger and better plans, and those plans required a clear head. So she waited in the quiet. Her contact was approaching late, but she knew he would come.

She took a drag on her cigarette as the passenger door opened. A furry green mass slipped into the seat.

"What do you want?" he asked gruffly.

"I've heard you are the best in your field. I have need of your services," Cruella replied. She looked him over, repressing a grimace; he stank and he was ugly, but she needed him.

He grunted.

"There is a band of rebels in the northeast. Normally, I'd have my own forces fight them. But they have a sonic screwdriver. It destroyed the last two plastic armies I sent after them."

"So you need me."

"Yes."

"What do I get out of it?"

"There is a mountain range in the far north. It will be all yours. There is a small Who village, but I'm sure you can eliminate them, if you so wish."

"No one will bother me?"

"No, I guarantee it."

He grunted again. "I'll be by your fortress in a week."

**Rebel Base, North Dakota**

"She hired the Grinch!"

It was whispered through all the rebels. Most felt hopeless. No one had ever fought the Grinch and won before. He tore people apart with a grin, then ate them, sucking the marrow from their bones for dessert.

Cruella de Vil's armies of plastic minions were hard enough to defeat. Nothing stopped them, and the sharp edges of their fingers, hands and arms sliced through even the toughest of armor. The sonic screwdriver vibrated them apart, but nothing else had proven to work. They had been in contact with the rebels in the bayous of Louisiana, and Alabama, trying desperately to learn how to recreate the sonic power.

Now it looked like Cruella was upon them, and they were all going to die.

"Do not be disheartened!" The rebel leader yelled out. "We've faced down the plastic army, and lived, didn't we? No one expected that. We all thought we would die on that forsaken battlefield. Now we fight the Grinch! We have our spears, bows and arrows, swords and knives. We will fight to the death! For freedom!"

The door to the base was torn open. The Grinch stood there, in all his Grinch-y glory. The rebel group promptly started screaming and running around in circles. The Grinch started attacking and eating people.

The rebel leader finally found a spear and chucked it at the Grinch. It hit his arm at a glancing blow. The Grinch roared and went after the leader. The leader was able to stab him several times with a knife before the Grinch killed him. The other rebels, inspired by the death of their leader, dog piled on the Grinch.

The Grinch threw them all off, hardly weakened at all.

"Stop right there!" a voice rang out.

Everyone froze and looked towards the door. Sarah Palin stood there, an elephant rifle in one hand, a bazooka in the other, and a flamethrower on her back. She fired the elephant rifle at the Grinch, then used the flamethrower on him. The rest of the rebels moved away from the mass of burning green fur.

"Um, hi?" the formally second in command, now leader said.

"Oh, I'm here to save you. The Alaska rebels found all the Dragon Balls, and we wished for a stockpile of firearms, to replace all the ones Cruella stole. Now, I'm here to take you all to the Arizona rebels where we'll meet up with the Louisiana and Alabama rebels to remake the sonic screwdriver."

Everyone stared at her. "Well, let's get going! Its going to be a long walk, but I've got cookies!"

A week after the North Dakota rebels arrived at the Arizona rebel base the combined powers of Bill Gates, Stephen Hawking and Mark Zuckerberg successfully recreated the sonic screwdriver. Cruella de Vil was quickly defeated.

Mary Poppins took her place. She was a strong, fair ruler and made the world a better place.

**)()()(**

My dream: Cruella de Vil is in my driver way, in her car, taking to the Grinch. She wants to wipe out the rebels who are in my garage so she can take over the world. The Grinch goes and attacks, but is killed. Then Cruella sends in these plastic people, who are killing everyone. Sarah Palin appears in my and starts shooting at the plastic people, saving the day.


End file.
